In Her Own Words: May 6, 2007

Hello my friends and family,

After eight long years of living behind bars, I have come to a painful understanding of how all this came to be.

For so long I have felt anger and hurt for my ex-husband, William, for allowing this horrendous drama to become my life. However, when I really started to do major soul searching about how this has happened to me, I have finally realized that I am, and was, in total control of my own destiny. I should have, and could have, taken charge of my life and not placed my trust in another person to make decisions for me.

I kept saying that I was young and naive which, although possibly somewhat true, is ridiculous and unacceptable as an excuse. I am quite competent as a person and should have known that putting my name to documents placed me in the position of responsibility in a company that mislead the public on a massive scale. For lots of reasons it seemed okay at the time and even for a while afterwards. That was my error; not seeing what was right and what was wrong. I should have stopped myself from doing what I did and I should have done what I could to stop others.

When the authorities became involved I should have explained to them, truthfully, what happened instead of repeating the mistakes I had already made. At that point I thought I was following a path which would lead me out of trouble, but I ended up ruining my own life and the lives of my family, in addition to the lives of too many people who'd been mislead into buying products from the company I'd jointly run. It would never have occurred to me to become involved in such a business but I was swept along. I got caught up in the excitement and financial end of the business. I did not resist enough, or probably even at all. That was my fault and no one else's.

After much soul searching and self-examination, I must place full responsibility on myself for blindly working with my husband to take advantage of people through fraudulent marketing schemes and false claims of potential profit.

For the errors in judgment I made and the pain/losses that I contributed to, I will always be disappointed in myself and I ask for forgiveness.

Sincerely,
Chantal McCorkle

Life: March 2, 2008

What is life all about? Are we sent here to learn? Teach? Feel? Love? Share? Do we all have a destiny mapped out for us? If we fall off of the path that we have been given to follow do we resume that destiny when we finally find our way again?

These are questions that came to me today while walking the track. So many years of my life have been taken away from me to choose the life I want to live, is this my destiny? Was it William's destiny and I got caught up in along the way and now must find the path I was on before we met? Was I brought on this journey to help others? Teach them? Learn from them? I do know that I hope that I have touched lives of others along the way just as I know that mine has been touched by so many including each one of you.

It's hard spending this time alone. We are only given a short time in this World and it's a time that we want to share with those we love. I spend years, months, weeks, day's, hours, minutes and seconds away from the one's I love and it causes great pain. What is all this for?

While walking here to the e-mail room I looked around and saw women in wheel chairs, women with their heads covered to hide the loss of hair, a woman who is in the hospice program wheeled out in her bed to enjoy the last day's of her life, and another woman who has just lost her eye sight and being helped by two women and her long white stick that must become her best friend and guidance through the rest of her life. I have a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes for these women, and although I am alone and away from those I love, I have my health and so I am reminded of what I must be thankful for.

I know that God has placed each and everyone of you in my life to share this journey with and I thank you for everything, your friendship, love, support and guidance. When I am down you help me up, you make sure that I have all I need in this place and I am never without. I have books to read, magazine subscriptions, money for phone, stamps and to buy the things I need because you all care. I have a great team of the best attorneys in the USA and UK that are helping me from the goodness of their hearts. So many women here have nothing. There names are never called for mail, they don't spend hours as I do in the e-mail room or look forward to visits. It's at times like these when I think about my life now that I know I am so richly blessed. It's times like these when we all must stop feeling sorry for ourselves, look around us and decide to live our lives in the best way we can no matter where we are or what cards we are dealt.

I do believe there is a wonderful life awaiting me and I will live again and be surrounded by those I love. I hope my path crosses others in need and that I can bless them as I have been blessed.

Thank you for being the lights I need to find my way to freedom, I love you all,
Chantal